So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
