I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm getting married
To pizza
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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