did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
