your thong is hanging out like whoa
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Randomize
