I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
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