and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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