I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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