I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
