I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
