We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
