but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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