Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
