Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
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No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
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this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize