Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
