You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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