im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
