Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
