you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
