Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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