not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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