we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
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The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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