I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
