And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
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I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
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