Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
She needs sedatives and a leash
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
