No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
