Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
