I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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