I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
