They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
