i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize