Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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