During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
pray to the hookup gods
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
