Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Randomize
