and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
