My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize