At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
