Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
did you just send me my own nude
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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