Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
it hurts more in the daytime
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
