i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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