so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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