I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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