Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
