i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
