GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
