youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
one might say we're banned from that church
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
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He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
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Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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