who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
