Whod you bang
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Randomize
