Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Randomize
