When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
