I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
