It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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