Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating