ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I miss vodka workout Fridays
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.