how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
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she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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