btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
