Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
