How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
he just fucked me for my cheese..
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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