Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
