a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
