Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
