that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
