i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
