you guys were way drunker than both of me
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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