His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
