her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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